MAD FIGS Digest #2-3: 4/7/98

Well, my spring break was pretty much the worst ever. Fresno is just as boring as it ever was. But then, on Saturday, I came back to LA to try and get tickets to see Tori Amos in concert. You'd think that the people who were waiting in line first would get priority, wouldn't you? NO, of course not! KROQ decided that it should be done by random drawing, so all those bastards who got there hours after us got tickets and we didn't, God damn it! But I'm OK with it now. Just remember, when the KROQ studio blows up you didn't hear anything about it from me.

4/7 - Added great new pictures to the MAD FIGS photo gallery
Archived two old newsletters from Jacob, available from:

As you all know, the MAD FIGS mailing list made its debut last month, and I feel it has had mixed success. While some topics of worthwhile discussion have emerged, many postings have been totally uncalled for. I have prepared some questions that you should ask yourself before posting to the list:
- Could my message just as well be sent to one person instead of the entire list?
- Does my message contain excessive obscene language that might be offensive to some people?
- Is my message less than two lines long?
- Am I drunk and/or high right now? (Thomas Only)

If the answer to any of these questions is yes, then you should not post the message. Failure to comply with these standards will result in removal from the list. Also, please address any requests to be dropped from the list or other administrative business to instead.

If you have any comments, suggestions, or wish to be unsubscribed, send email to

Scott Dogg


"It is the same with any and every succession of these machines - a succession of ten, a hundred, a thousand; with one series, as with another - a series which is finite, as with a series which is infinite."
-William Paley, The Argument From Design

"Look round the world, the whole and every part of it, you will find it to be nothing but one great machine, subdivided into an infinite number of lesser machines, which again admit of subdivisions to a degree beyond what human senses and facilities can trace and explain. All these variousmachines, and even their most minute parts, are adjusted to each other with an accuracy which ravishes into admiration all men who have ever contemplated them."
- David Hume, Dialogues Concerning Natural Religion

"...So prodigious an Animal exceeds all analogy and even comprehension."

"No one thinks that machines have free will, yet they may well be beyond the control of their makers."
-J.L. Mackie, Evil and Omnipotence

"...Adult human beings can be responsible for our actions in a way that dumb Animals, infants, and machines cannot."
-Susan Wolf, Sanity and the Metaphysics of Responsibility

"And from the dregs of life, hope to receive
What the first sprightly running could not give."
-John Dryden, Aureng-Zebe, Act IV, sc. 1

"At every stage it's a little tiny depressant to be called PIG, or a little tiny boost to your esteem to be called ACE or WOW."
-Nicholas Christenfeld

"why am i still awake at six in the morning, a mere four hours before classes start? because i am becoming NOCTURNAL, a CREATURE OF THE NIGHT, NOSFERATU, THE LIVING DEAD, LEGALLY INSANE. why have i been waiting for thirty minutes and still cant log onto turf? i have no FUCKING idea, something is CRIMINALLY wrong with my STUPID STUPID computer. ask me if i have read every readable word in the goddamn madFUCKINGfigs website in the last few hours YOURE DAMN STRAIGHT I HAVE AND I LIKED EVERY SECOND OF IT. now ask me if my flamboyant RA is prancing down the hall singing show tunes and wearing ladies underwear NO OF COURSE HE ISNT WHAT KIND OF SICKO ARE YOU."
-Gilbert Tsai

And, for the first time ever, we present... THE MAD FIGS DRAWING OF THE MONTH!! This month's submission, created by Kathleen Hurley, is... A MAD FIG!

                ) )
           xx        xx
        xx             xx
      xx      X     X   xx
     xx        __        xx
     xx      /    \     xx
      xxx            xxx
           | |   | |
          _| |   | |_
         (___)   (___)

Well, I'm impressed. Can anybody outdo this one?

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