MAD FIGS Digest #2-4: 5/17/98

It's been a while since the last Digest was sent out, and I'm sorry, but not all that much interesting stuff has been happening. I'm not sure what the hell is going on with the mailing list, it won't respond to any of my posts. Maybe it just doesn't like me. The end of the semester is nearly upon us, yet I have a shockingly small amount of work to do. Everyone I tell this to gets mad and starts yelling at me. I manage to keep busy listening to the new Tori Amos album, and don't ask how many times I've heard it because I lost track after the second day it came out.

5/17- Updated Frisbee golf course map
Still waiting for new pictures from the Animal...


Ultimate Frisbee Sectionals, which had potential to be a major success for the MAD FIGS, was not all that it could have been. Still, the University of Redlands managed to pick up its first ever official victory against UCSD's B-Team. Unfortunately we also lost hard-core to UCSD A, Occidental, and UCLA, led by scoring madman Chris "Killa" Quinelli. Perhaps next year Cal Poly will get their act together and actually show up, and maybe, just maybe, Fat Louie will get out of his lousy rowboat and answer his true calling.

Another potential MAD FIGS event this summer is the return of the legendary Great vinnardo. Will he return in time to run in Santa Cruz? Will he be able to compete in the MAD FIGS Septathalon? Is he coming back at all, or is the lure of Scotland too strong? Only time will tell.

If you have any questions, comments, or wish to be unsubscribed, send email to

Scott Dogg


"Conjugation in the imperfect subjunctive:
1. 'ellos' form of the preterit indicitive.
2. minus -RON
3. plus new ending... [for ellos form], add -RAN"
-Decho y Hecho, Beginning Spanish

"Use the suede glove, ya fig-mad ulf"
-You Don't Know Jack Volume 3

"Adam and Eve tried to cover themselves with environmentally correct materials-- fig leaves. They did not want the clothing which would remind them that clothing came from their sin. God had to kill an Animal, skin it, and dress them in skins as reminders of their fallen state."
-from, source unknown

"An infinite number of monkeys on an infinite number of typewriters will eventually define all that is Canada."

"(1) The most powerful force in the world is that of a disc straining to land under a car, just out of reach (this force is technically termed "car suck").
(2) Never precede any maneuver by a comment more predictive than "Watch this!"
(3) The probability of a Frisbee hitting something is directly proportional to the cost of hitting it. For instance, a Frisbee will always head directly towards a policeman or a little old lady rather than the beat up Chevy.
(4) Your best throw happens when no one is watching; when the cute girl you've been trying to impress is watching, the Frisbee will invariably bounce out of your hand or hit you in the head and knock you silly."

"The similarity in form and function between the faces of different species is emphasized by morphing the images of dog and human as in this 'Scotty Dog' display..."
-Scott-ish National Portrait Gallery, Edinburgh, Scotland

"As if the machine were in the process of swallowing him whole, an overgrown metal reptile digesting its prey..."
-Jon Krakauer, Into the Wild

"I didn't like the tests. I didn't like being in The Machine."
-Psychic Kid, The X-Files

"In 1909-10 [the Futurist movement's] disciples, led by the poet Filippo Tommaso Marintetti, issued a series of manifestos violently rejecting the past and exalting the beauty of the MACHINE."
-Source Unknown

"It is 6:00 in the morning, i cant sleep and i have a final in 9 hours. My fat roommate is snoring and you didnt respond to my email i wrote 5 days ago. girls are stupid and my TAs are all lesbians. your owl's feathers got caught in my throat and i almost choked. the last fifty hits on your website were all made by me in the past half hour. i am a frat boy and so is tom. it stormed so hard at yale last weekend my friend's crew boat sank and she almost drowned. heh heh. the glare from this computer screen is making my eyes hurt. i have a headache and i'm sleepy. the stupid pigeons are on my windowsill and chirping again. rumor has it andrew's hair is blonde. kurt vonnegut has some good ideas, as does george orwell. the people across the hall from me smoke weed every night. one of my friends peed on my chair when he was drunk. im hungry and i have to pee. i am behind at least 1300 pages in one of my classes. my mom wont let me bring my car over here next year. weezer is my mom. your mom smells funny."
-The one, the only, Gilbert Tsai

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