MAD FIGS Digest #1-23 - 8/97

Despite the fact that July and August have been jam-packed with MAD FIGS excitement, I have neglected to send out a Digest. This was part of an elaborate plan to encourage people to send in submissions to the webpage, hoping that I would update it, and then be forced to send out a Digest. Unfortunately, the plan did not work. So I'm sending out a Digest anyways.

I've been having a good summer since I quit working at the end of July. I still have not gone anywhere further away than Madera, but there's plenty to do in Fresno (uh... OK, I'm just trying to make myself feel better). But I'll be leaving in just 9 days now, so that's good.


(In reverse chronological order)

This Friday, selected MAD FIGS (Justin, Paul, Matt, and I; along with Johann) played paintball at Justin's grandparents' house. The field was very very small, but the fact that it was completely dark made up for it. We played 4 games, and used up about 30 paintballs each. It was a very strange game, but interesting none the less. We also be played yesterday morning, when we could see, so that was fun too. The Animal was not there, because he's a sissy.

August 14, 1997 was the 1st Annual MAD FIGS Movie Marathon. Coincidentially, it was also Paul's birthday. We watched all 10 MAD FIGS Movies, along with 2 other approved films. Total attendance was about 20 people, but Paul, Justin, and I were the only ones to stay for the whole thing, and I was the only one to remain awake the whole time (Justin slept for 30 minutes during Pulp Fiction, and Paul for "5 minutes" [AKA 45 minutes] during Hard Boiled. I have no idea how they managed to do this). My secret was drinking 17.5 sodas. The schedule for the festival was:

12:00 a.m. - Billy Madison
1:30 a.m. - Stalag 17
3:30 a.m. - UHF
5:07 a.m. - Hard Boiled
7:13 a.m. - Small Change
9:00 a.m. - Pulp Fiction
12:10 p.m. - The Party
1:49 p.m. - Reservoir Dogs
3:39 p.m. - Happy Gilmore
5:02 p.m. - From Dusk Til Dawn
6:50 p.m. - Tombstone
9:00 p.m. - Braveheart

The FGOTC (Frisbee Game of the Century) was scheduled to take place today (August 17), but once again, "Team Losers" has cancelled at the last minute. They have once again suggested a later date, next weekend. Unfortunately, this would come dangerously close to Tori's Birthday (August 22, mark your calanders!), meaning that I may have trouble making the game. Hopefully, the game will actually take place this time, with the MAD FIGS proving their superiority once and for all. I think the fact that the game has been "rescheduled" so many times speaks for itself - someone is obviously afraid to play.

One activity that the MAD FIGS have been spending a lot of time on recently has been Ping Pong. With the establishment of the Fresno Ping Pong League (Sponsored by the UPPPA), official statistics are being kept, and power rankings are available for key players. The complete standings wil be available tonight at:

In July, the MAD FIGS bid farewell to Jacob Ekkins, a cornerstone of the organization. He's off to France for 2 years, and will not return at all until July 1999. In order to say goodbye, the MAD FIGS held a special going away breakfast at the Dam Diner. There, 2 new pieces of MAD FIGS merchandise were introduced: the MAD FIGS Tapes and the MAD FIGS Dollar Bills (series 2). Jacob will be missed, and unfortunately, a Super Quorum of MAD FIGS will be impossible for a long time.

At the Madera Ranchos Run, the MAD FIGS did extraordinarily well. "Great Vinnardo" took first place in his age division, earning a mention in the newspaper. General Swift and Andrew also ran in the race, but decided not to enter officially. Scott Dogg went along also, but his Top Secret Mission required that he not enter the race. The event was very successful, in all respects. Paul, Matt, and Jacob were unable to attend, because Jacob was asleep instead of driving everyone to the race.

If you have any comments or suggestions, or wish to be unsubscribed, send email to

With a new school year upon us, some people will be heading off to new places (or, in isolated incidents, returning to old ones). If you are going to have a new email address, please let me know. Oh, by the way, my old email address,, will not work after August. But I can still be contacted at

Scott Dogg

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