MAD FIGS Digest #3-3: 6/5/99Summer of 99 brings a record low number of MAD FIGS home for the summer, but it should also bring a challenge greater than any ever before faced...
the MAD FIGS Septathalon!
WEB UPDATES (6/4):
Added TONS of new pictures
Updated Forensics section
Continual updates to Septathalon section to continue...
MAD FIGS NEWS:
As of June 4th, it will be exactly 2 months and 17 days until Jacob E. Kins returns to Fresno! This will be the first time he has appeared in person in over 2 years. The MAD FIGS eagerly await this reunion on August 21st.
ANOTHER COUNTDOWN BEGINS!
The official date for the MAD FIGS Septathalon has finally been set! It will take place from Friday, July 23rd to Sunday, July 25th. Contenders confirmed for all 3 days include the Animal, Incredible Guy, Scott Dogg, vinnardo, Animalito, and General Swift. Others who will participate in some (or possibly all) events include Andrew Leet, Mat, Angry Bear, and A-Ron. Tell all your friends and neighbors to visit the MAD FIGS webpage for all relevant details.
MASSIVE TURNOUT FOR 6TH ANNUAL ONLDOSM!
The crowds waiting to run the mile with the MAD FIGS on June 3rd were so large, thousands of people had to be turned away at the gates. Even with setbacks such as these, the number of finishers doubled from last year, with 2 runners crossing the finish line, 1 official timer, and 1 enthusiastic onlooker. The Animalito takes this years title with a blistering 6:40 mile. Last year's champion, Scott Dogg, was a close second at 7:15. This year was remarkable because ONE HUNDRED PERCENT of the competitors finished the race, a figure never before seen in the six year history of the event. Observers say that you can be sure there will be another race again next year, and everyone is looking forward to competing.
If you have any questions, comments or suggestions send email to email@example.com
SEPTATHALON QUOTES: (1)
"The Animal seems to think Paul runs like he's marching, and Paul claims that women play paintball better than the Animal.
Other sources have decided that only chumps and women are actually in bowling leagues."
-Vegas Oddsmakers, commenting on the Septathalon
"General? General what? Seems like he's just a General pain in the ass to me!"
"Animalito? Do you think his name translates to "Little" Animal just because he's my younger brother?"
"I think it's pretty obvious that Leet and Mat aren't competing all three days because they know they have no chance against
"The Angry Bear has about as much chance in beating me in the Septathalon as he does getting 30 people to attend his 'debate
QUOTE OF THE MONTH:
"Lets do it in August, I want that sissy Weakins in the Mile and the Adventure race!"
(1) The preceding quotes may or may not bear resembalance to actual comments made in real life.