MAD FIGS Digest #4-5: 8/8/00

The complete 2000 Septathalon results are now online! This offers an excellent opportunity to see how well you did in each event, so you will know what to work on for next year. You can also make fun of the Animal for getting only one kill in the Bond event!
Still to come: photos from this year's Septathalon, full commentary, and a new page comparing people's performances from 1999 and 2000. Rumor has it that the FBI will not complete its point-shaving investigation until the release of this page, but other facts are still being examined.

In other "news," I will be leaving this Wednesday to drive across the country to Urbana-Champaign, Illinois. This means that there won't be any updates to the webpage for a couple weeks. In order to keep people occupied, I am officially releasing the first draft casting sheets for the upcoming feature film, MAD FIGS: The Movie.
Discussion of our choices of actors would be very helpful in making the film as realistic as possible. (?)'s indicate the roles that still need to be filled.
While no scripting has been done yet, we are also accepting preliminary ideas for the plot. Feel free to send any comments to this mailing list (

Melquiades - Marlon Brando (?)
The Animal - Edward Norton
Scott Dogg - Jason Lee
Flash - Tom Cruise
Incredible Guy - Mel Gibson
General Swift - George Clooney
Sascha - Brad Pitt
Mat - Ben Affleck
A-Ron - Data (from Goonies)
Super Scrub - Carrot Top

- Supporting Cast -
Ron - Samuel L. Jackson
Ms. Stewart - Christopher Walken (?)
The Monkey - either an animated creature or a real chimp
The Gimp - Steve Buscemi
Angry Bear - Chris Farley (cloned back to life?)
Andrew Leet - David Schwimmer
Wow - (?)
G. Beaver - Winona Rider
Kristin Cahill - (?)
Mr. Lusk - Patrick Stewart
Mr. Bonnard - Weird Al Yankovich
Mr. Donahue - Sean Connery

You get the picture. We left a lot of people we know off the list because we couldn't think of good actors for them, but feel free to add anyone you come up with a good idea for.

If you have any questions, comments, or suggestions, send email to

Scott Dogg

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