Scott Dogg-

I was walking through a shopping center here in LA and I heard what sounded like the beating of drums coming from the local arcade. When I looked inside I was shocked to my soul to see what will become the future of the Mad Figs if we are all to partake in this "dancing Game" of sin. The beating sound I had heard was unfortunately not the beating of drums as I had previously thought, but it was the sound of the biggest ass pounding one could ever imagine. Two yahoos were "competing" on the "dancing game", but it looked more like two male Great Danes trying to re-enact the Nut Cracker with twice as much ass sniffing. My heart sunk so low at the thought of that becoming a Mad Figs sanctioned event. We will not need Jacob's inspirational poems to give us the boost we need to run swiftly in the running events the following day, we will have a much more holy cause. Thoughts of the previous nights ass fest will make us run for our lives because the wrath of dance will still be felt in our most personnal regions.

Perhaps the most disturbing part of this "Game" becoming an event is that the Great Vinnardo is so for it. His defense for it from the Animal's attack scares me, and makes think of all the times I have ever been around Justin. You may wonder why he always wants to have underwater breath holding competitions; I just figured out that he is hoping we pass out and he is able to practice his "dance" moves on an unconscious Fig. How glad am I that I never accepted his challenges. Also, he told the Animal and I the other day that he will never get married. He makes it seem like he has a girl friend, but the truth is he sent G-Funk off to Panama so he can get his groove on with any unsuspecting competitor in the dancing game. I'll tell you this Scott Dogg, Vinnardo is planning on blowing the mind of the winner of the dancing game with a 14 foot dildo special made for the event. He is planning on celebrating a one, two finish of him and you in that event with a wild ride on an adventure island he has been hoping to take you to for years. If I was you I would be watching my back for the rest of my life.

Scott getting married. Jacob, married with three children. Animal is an extreme sex machine, ladies day and night. Fat Louie always goes home with a hot lady at the end of one of his adventures. Vinnardo.....avoids marriage, sends away girl friend, will bleed your ass dry if he had the chance. My prediction for the Septathlon: Fat Louie first, followed by a three way tie for second between Matty, Animal and Jacob; and Vinnardo coming out of the closet. I say good luck to the Figs with the Dancing Game event in the middle of this gay pride month. May our rainbows shine bright.

-Fat Louie

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