The MAD FIGS Debate Round

The Incredible Guy/ Emily Hill vs. The Great Vinnardo/ Robbie Maxey
(Observed and timed by Scott Dogg)

In the 1996 debate season, Bullard High had 8 teams in varsity competition. By round 11 of the tournament, both Paul and Justin were still in contention for the state qualifying tournament with records of 5-5. When they found out that they would be debating each other, it was decided that the round was going to be "interesting". Since Scott and Gretchen were 10-0 up to that point, they were guaranteed 1st place and didn't have to compete anymore, giving Scott Dogg the chance to spectate and keep time.

The round got off to a good start, with Robbie running the infamous "Chuck" case. Chuck was a prisoner in a Chinese prison labour camp, and the case focused on helping him out. In the cross examination, Paul drew a stick figure on the board, asking Robbie "now, what would the guards usually do to Chuck in the camps?" Robbie proceeded to demonstrate by erasing various parts of the stick figure. The round continued normally for a while with Emily presenting the first negative speech, running various disadvantages and case attacks. Then, the Great Vinnardo gave the second speech for his team, and all hell broke loose.

The speech began with Justin's presentation of his "nukespeak bloc", a long list of reasons why nuclear war is actually beneficial. Included in this was the point "Nuclear war is just something that goofy debaters like Scott like to talk about." When this point was raised, Scott Dogg angrily signaled that the speech had only 30 seconds left. Justin was momentarily confused, but soon recovered and continued. While reading several quotes from "The MAD FIGS Digest" with Scott Christiansen, Jacob Ekins, and JK Lundberg as the authors, he somehow managed to avoid answering a huge portion of the arguments that had been brought up against the case. But instead, he read a piece of evidence (produced from his wallet) from Gary stating that "little kids are demons from hell... they never get in my car when I ask them."

In cross examination, Emily asked the difficult question "Isn't it true that the MAD FIGS is just a group of your friends, and not a real source at all?" Although Justin quickly denied these untrue allegations, things did not look promising. That is, until Paul gave the next speech. He began with, "I would like you to forget everything my partner said during cross-examination. Here's a quote from the MAD FIGS Digest."

The rest of the round proceeded normally. The Great Vinnardo tried to save the affirmative by giving a "serious" final speech, but it was too little too late and the negative team won the round.

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