When Animals fail, Louies pull through


Hi team-

Today, while I was meditating all the carbs out of my body in preperation for the nugget eating competition, I heard a horse fall dead from exhaustion. I am in Krakow, Poland and in this part of the world some of the work falls on the shoulders of beast and man rather than machines. I tore the creature's withered corpse from his chains and took up his previous task by grabbing hold of the bit with what is left of my teeth (I have been pulling out two a day so the nuggets will go down easier). I began pulling his 4 ton load up a mountain, leaving a long trail of blood and sweat on the cobble stone. With each step I took I thought of another painful trial I would be on soon. I swung my arms back and forth as though I was striking fore and back hands with my ping pong paddle. I wielded my arms, knocking approaching cars away as though I was throwing them like frisbees. The acid inside my legs built up so much that it began burning through my skin. My bare feet began blistering on the hot cement from the 65 degree heat. Through all this I continued. It did not occur to me to stop. When I crested the mountain and received cheers from the onlookers, I realized this is my future. August 6-7 has already occured in another manner, and I look forward to a month from now when I relive this glorious day. When the creature The Animal fails and Fat Louie receives the cheers from thousands of on lookers once again. Hope you guys are doing well, I had a chicken Kebab yesterday, and it was really good. Maybe we should switch it to chicken kebab eating contest. Too late, maybe next year.

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