The Bill Nye the Science Guy Club


The Flash was the first of the MAD FIGS to discover the power of Bill Nye the Science Guy. The other MAD FIGS had heard of him and seen a few episodes of his show, but no one really thought too much of him. That all changed when Jacob showed the infamous "Space" episode of Bill Nye. The episode contains many classic segments, including Bill Nye floating outside a spaceship saying "Hal, open the door!" and a computer voice saying "I'm sorry, Bill, I'm afraid I can't do that." But the key scene is the one with Bill Nye explaining about the size of the solar system.

The scene takes place in a large field at night. Bill Nye begins standing near a searchlight, representing the sun. He is very calm and collected, talking about the distance between the planets. But as he moves farther away from the sun, he becomes more and more out of control. He begins to speak louder and faster, and his hair becomes messed. The scene culminates with Bill Nye telling viewers, "And it's just like... SPACE!!!!!" As he says the final word, a great noise can be heard behind his voice. Many speculate that his "devolution" thoughout the scene has summoned many demons, who are echoing his cry. After this, Bill Nye wanders into the darkness laughing maniacally.

After seeing this episode, the MAD FIGS started the Bill Nye the Science Guy Club at Bullard High School, sponsored by Mr. Bonnard. On Club Signup day, 77 people signed up as being interested in joining the club, and 46 of them went on to become official members. The Club's Constitution somehow managed to pass the club council and become legal.

The daily meetings of the Club consisted of the MAD FIGS and other members watching episodes of Bill Nye the Science Guy. Some of the favorites were the Friction episode (a world without friction would be... dangerous), the Germs episode (they're all over me!), and the Ocean episode (amemanies!). During one meeting, the Club went slightly off-topic and watched a Chem-Study film, borrowed specially for the occassion from Mr. Lusk. This gave the MAD FIGS an opportunity to play The Chem-Study Drinking Game.

Of course, various members were able to exploit the Club for their own personal gains. The Incredible Guy, the Official Club Treasurer, was in charge of keeping the membership dues in the offical "Bill Nye Tuppervagen". During The Monkey Days, he was questioned on the whereabouts of the funds, and could not produce them. This lead to an internal coup in the Club, with the Animal stealing the Tuppervagen and assuming the role of treasurer. To this day, it is unknown what Paul had done with the missing funds.

Another use of the Club for personal gain was in Scott Dogg's neverending quest to increase "Tori Awareness" at Bullard. One day, the Video Librarian forgot to bring an episode of Bill Nye. In order to fill in the time, Scott Dogg offered to show his copy of the Little Earthquakes Video, which scared the living daylights out of all the other members. Another incident was when Scott Dogg submitted a bulletin announcement for the Club reading, "Turn your little blue world Upside Down with the Bill Nye Club. Meetings daily in Room N-31 at lunchtime." Naturally, he was the only person out of the 2500 at the school who understood what this was a reference to.

As an official club, the Bill Nye Club got a picture in the yearbook. In the photo, all the members were looking off to the left, while Mr. Bonnard, wearing his "Science Fairy" jacket, looked at his magic wand facing to the right. Unfortunately, Mr. Bonnard left Bullard after that year, so the Club lost its sponsor. And since most of the key members were either graduated or seniors, everyone lost interest anyways. The Bill Nye Club is now only a memory, but it will be remembered as an important and worthwhile organization.

Long after the Club had ended, an amazing new fact surfaced about Bill Nye: He plays Ultimate Frisbee!! Quoth the Great Vinnardo:

We knew Bill Nye the Science Guy was a deity, but this is too much. The
following is something I copied off a web page. It was on a Ultimate
Players Association page, all of the nominees for some big award were
interviewed and their answers put on the page.

7. If, unexpectedly, ESPN includes the Callahan with this year's ESPYs,
what sports commentator or celebrity would you like to announce your
winning the award? What would you like them to say?

I was trying to think of the most famous person outside of Ultimate that
plays the game and it's probably Bill Nye (the Science Guy). He's from my
hometown of Seattle and plays recreationally. He could talk about how
Ultimate manages to mix together intellect, athleticism, and spirit into
one game, which is what makes it so great.

The MAD FIGS have a new goal in life: play an Ultimate Frisbee game with Bill Nye.

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