AKA: Swift, Swifty, Tenderfoot
Background (Name): In the early years the Seaman was only known as Swift. It was understood that this name alone would not
meet up to the MAD FIGS nickname standards. The rationale was Nathan Swift - his name isn't a coincidence. But with the MAD FIGS
desire for world conquest, it seemed a little odd that we didn't have anyone specifically designated to accomplish or direct the
task. Suddenly in the Spring of '96, Nathan realized* his true purpose in the MAD FIGS. His raison d'etre was to act as the titular
head of the MAD FIGS paramilitary activities.
*The actual realization occured during a night of Lazer Tag with a group of friends. Swift discovered a great affinity for the simulated war. Afterwards, he was awarded the title of General for his highest-score-in-the-group performance.
Unfortuantely, during the 2000 Septathalon "The General" discovered that his
powers were no longer up to par with those of some other MAD FIGS. He attempted to do the Dam Diner Dash and the Adventure Race
barefoot (in order to gain the bonus points for doing so) but was unable to complete Saturday's other events due to sore feet.
Sometime during the next year, the Incredible Guy met Swift at a crew competition. When asked if he would be attending the 2001 Septathalon, Swift replied "NO!" as if it were extremely obvious. While it is unclear what caused such a decline to occur, vinnardo has advanced a theory regarding contamination by an unnamed force.
Since these regrettable incidents took place, Swift has been officially demoted to the position of Seaman.
Civilian Name: CLASSIFIED
Current Status: On Reserve Duty, lying in a dumpster somewhere
Symbols: Winged Foot of Mercury, Military Stripes
Weapons of Choice: Drums and Sticks (Physical and Audio destruction), Boat Oars.
Special MAD FIGS Strengths: Paramilitary leadership and direction, unique control of music and sound, can row a boat (Naval power).
Special Status: Member of the Society of Painted Men, Animal Lover - one word - Dead Crawfish.
Special Connections: UC Santa Barbara, the Band, UCSB Crew.
An Interesting Note: At times, Seaman Swift has been known to exploit his craft of dividing and conquering. For a breif period just prior to the Super Quorum Mission, he tricked the MAD FIGS into letting him become a one-person SUPER QUORUM [Majorly Awesome, Dynamically, Freaking Intelligent General Swift = MAD FIGS]. It was a few seconds before the group actually knew what he had done. Fortunately he conceded that it wasn't much fun being the only MAD FIG(S) and willing resigned the position. But it was a testimony of the military insight of our very own Seaman Swift.